Enough of this.
Jazz Droids. Activate the A.W.E.F. Time duration: 30 Minutes.
FOLLOWING COMMAND.
Alright. With this barrier up, nobody can hurt each other. All weapons and powers are disabled, and any attempt to punch, kick, throw objects, or do any other methods of harming anyone will do nothing. This effect will last for 30 minutes, or until I say so.
Now, then... How about we take the time to settle this PEACEFULLY, instead of being idiots and fighting a battle that is not only impossible for ANYONE to win, but is also only making both sides look like the bad guys to one another.
Orca, with no due respect, these drongos are actin' like they run who can and can't-
Fang. If we can solve this peacefully, that's what we'll do.
I'll contact the facility's constructor right now.
Oh.
*sigh* Very well. What must we do regarding the facility?
Hey guys, we've got some news about the U-
...is this a bad time?
Very.
Look. If this is about the UKR, keep it to yourself, at least until they leave. I do not want to see any more pointless combat.
Look. We're not getting even remotely close to peacefully ending our conflict with them until we deal with the literal Kirby villain that Kilroy's made a deal with, who is also weaponizing the soldiers' depression!
Well, we aren't going to get any closer to actually doing that until we put an end to this combat.
...Look. I want this issue resolved, too. But not with a war. War destroys lives. And not just that of the opposing sides, either... War should only occur if there is no other option. I fought far too long in a pointless war to want to see another one take place... And on the wrong side too, mind you.
...I didn't even know what I was truly fighting for until I was reprogrammed out of my Orceggstra state by Jazz. I just want to make sure NOBODY makes the same mistake of fighting a war with no purpose themselves.
...I hope you understand why I'm going through all this effort to stop this war- or at least its esculation- before it can even begin.
Yeah, I get it. You go ahead and deal with the situation here, I'll go and try to figure out a way to thrash Dark Matter for good so we don't have more depressed demon soldiers to deal with. By the way, mind sending me the blueprints for that AWEF thingy? My infinite amount of knockoff soldiers could use it too.
Also, Doc. If you need a place to stay while you deal with the paperwork for the Labs or something, my door's always open.
I greatly appreciate it, Mighty.
These freaks wanna send us back seven decades! What reason did I have not to stop them?!
To be honest, at first I thought it was fine. I didn't think there'd be a peaceful way to solve this, but if there is, I'd rather do that.
How do we know this is peaceful?! Regulations or not, nothing here suits what the UKR wants, and I have every reason to believe if I didn't come and pop a cork in someone, they'd take it all away.
And I have every reason to believe they're still going to do that.
You do realize that I hear you guys, right?
Also...pointless? The entire point of this little fight here is for avenging that soldier over there.
Fang, is it not true that you fired the first shot? And is it not true that Volt Man fired the killing blow?
Hence the whole "both sides looking like the bad guy" phrase. And don't pretend that what your group has been doing makes you look any innocent.
In any case, I don't care who had the first shot. Because as far as I'm concerned, neither of you will have the final blow.
If we can discuss about this whole "unauthorized laboratory" thing and how to make the lab authorized, then the battle will end. Wars cause death and destruction to not only those who fight in it, but also to bystanders with nothing at all to do with what the war is about. So let's not start one over a stupid overreaction.
My group? My group only consists of Quin and I. Sure I've done some...questionable things, but you leave Quin out of it. He's harmless.
In any case, I agree with the overreaction part. You see...
I've come to surrender. Or if permitted, to join your side. I've got all the info from the UKR I wished to acquire.
Gahahah! The deed has been done! We swiped 'er from under everyone's noses! Now nothing will stop me from crowning the princess as my bride!
I appreciate the bravado, my fiendish fellow, but we have a problem on our hands at the moment.
Is that all you punks are made of? At this rate, we'll pummel that plump turtle in small time!
Yeh! It's time to turn up the heat!
It seems these two somehow know of your kidnapping. And this early, nonetheless! How can this be!?
Aw, don't get your shell spikes in a bunch! Even if these two clowns have found us out, they're still nothing but worthless jokes! There's no way they'll make it here!
Hmm. For your sake and mine, I hope you are correct. But in the off chance that they do succeed... It would be wise of us to send more men.
Wario... Waht'shisface... you two'll regret sticking your noses into our plan.
TWO BOWSERS!? Why would you suggest such a preposterous idea!? It's evident that if it the person who kidnapped the princess was him, then Bowser came... up... with...
(...He didn't burst in and make a public entrance, which is his key calling card... a second Bowser is outlandish... But could there be another enemy at hand in cooperation with him?)
This situation may prove more troublesome than expected. Quickly! We must contact Master Mario and--
Uh... not to intrude... But we don't even know where he is.
...If you really aren't with the UKR now... Then that proposes a problem. Because if they didn't send you... Then they probably retreated... And now, NOTHING can be done to make Doppler NOT seem like the bad guy to them.
...If you two groups are going to work together now... Then I will trust you with the responsibility to stop this skirmish against Doppler from escalating any further. As far as I'm concerned, the enemy of this "Story Arc"- as Jazz would call it- isn't Kilroy or the UKR... it's War.
...One more thing. Null... While I'm sure that your longing for the... *Ahem* "Real World" is a rather reasonable thing... It's best that you NEVER approach Missingno. about the matter. He may... Well...
...He choked... somebody. Who claimed to have entered this acclaimed "Real World". I guarantee you that, since we're not exactly being forced to be allies, he will likely attempt to tear you limb from limb. Or possibly worse.
And you're sure 'yelling for help' will magically bring someone to come help us.
...
Uh Commander Rugal. How...how did I end up here?
Eep!
...Noted...
Well...let's fix that wall.
...
...And you are...?
7105 Comments