...
...
So...what are you gonna-
Well...so much for the deal...
Attention Security Divison 09. I'm sending you my coordinates.
Back away from the-
What the devil are you?
I...
...have...
...
ing...
...HAD IT!!!!!
I've been trying to play fair. I've been trying to follow your little house rules and hierarchy.
But it's only turned me into this world's punching bag. And I did NOT come here for that.
Let me give you all a reprise of what my OLD world was like:
I was nothing more than a WORTHLESS MINION of the Black Kingdom that my world's Dark Prince ruled over. He was, and still is, a ruthless tyrant, but all I got was a lousy spot in Stage FOUR. Out of THIRTEEN.
I came here because it was my one chance. Not just to become a threat on par with my former master, but to gain SOME semblance of recognition.
And do you feel that?
For once, I'm not alone at the bottom of this world's dainty little power grid as someone who's just a Character, but is still ready to make a difference.
And the time is right, too! Because now I realize ANOTHER one of my biggest mistakes back in Matt's realm. It wasn't just that I tried to shut up the top dog of the omniverse...
...It's that I entered before it was time for ME to come on stage.
I have no reason to waste time with you lot anymore. Not you pathetic simians, not you worhless pieces of scrap I called minions, not even Mr. Judgement Boy over there.
All I need is the power this world can provide that I can use.
...this is really
ing bad.
Finally...even if I can't atone for all that I've done, I can atone for how it's affected this world.
I'm with you all the way, Doc!
And I'll be right with you in return!
Brothers...it's time.
This is going to be awesome!
LET'S KICK EVIL'S BUTT!
...Okay, you felt that too, right?
Yeah. Felt like....
....like the world's largest temper tantrum.
So I wasn't the only one thinking that! Think we should check it out?
Why? Lord Hades gave us orders not to rally troops.
He didn't say we couldn't seek out an old fashioned fisticuffs on our own.
Ha! True!
Wha-- Hey! I have to pay for that! Oh, whatever.
It's pounding ti--
Eugh. What is that...thing?
Disappointed?
It's a mix of disappointment and disgust, what kind of-- I don't want to assume it's a robot, but it looks so hideous.
Now, now, Rock. Let's try to be friendly.
Hi, I'm Lieutenant Mech-KII. And this is my friend A. Rock. We're here on account of..
Wanting to kick his butt.
Ah. Yes. We're here on account of wanting to "boot" your "rearward", if you will.
That being said...
*Insert witty one liner about you getting your butt kicked here!
No time to chat. I'll help you with the invincible dragon problem later, but for now have this.
If you get a reading of over 50% on this bad boy, absolutely do NOT grant any wishes to whoever was scanned or the Omniverse may be in even more trouble.
Actually, you should probably teleport away immediately if someone that evil approaches you. Also, have this.
My own mix, 90% alcohol and 10% Justice Energy. It should automatically cure you if you somehow catch an evil virus.
Alright, I gotta go. Duty calls.
You are speaking with Quartet Enterprises. How may we be of service?
Alright, Jazz, let's just calm down, and-
I am through with being calm. And besides... Why do you worry so much? After all...
...None of it's real, right? Nothing that happens truly matters. It's all just a fantasy.
...Who's next?
...Well, this is happening. Well, while I'm flying through the depths of space, I might as well contemplate on what got me to this moment...
Let's see... The last thing I remember was facing a swarm of red robots that suddenly ravaged our world... And then one of those b
ds blew my head off.
I don't exactly remember what happened between then and now... But whatever happened, I ended up in some kind of dimension where the dead apparently went to experience their personalized afterlives...
...And the reason everyone became awoken from them was because there was some kind of portal? Then I jumped through, fought those two guys, and...
...
...When did my life get this strange?
Yo, Mech-tenant. You have anything that can put a dent in this guy?!
Well, there is the Dread Cannon. though that'll take a bit long to charge, and if I use it, I'll probably exhaust myself out of WE and HE.
That'll do. Besides, if you do miss, I can just bring you back with my stat boosts!
Hey, Beak Bozo! You seem like the fast type! But just how fast are you?
Let's see you move 880,000 times the speed of light.
My, my! Especially considering the amount of casualties suffered in our last encounter with thatdastardly plumber, the quantity of Robo-Koopas now in our posession has skyrocketed! Your smelliness, of what method have you used to achieve these rampaging obots?
Well, at first I thought we'd have to do things the hard way, but out of nowhere, this purple guy came to me with a "deal". When I sent my forces to attack, before I knew it, they were all gone. But then he offered me a deal. He said in exchange for the remaining shards of the Dark Star I obliterated some time ago, that he would replenish and bolster my Koopa Troops.
At first I was about to clobber him for daring to do such a thing, but before I could retaliate, he opened a portal. The next thing I knew these Stronger, Faster, mysterious Koopa 'droids came in, and he said they were all mine if I gave him what he wanted.
And judging by the fact that they're here.... you probably know what I went with.
Your evilness, are you sure it's wise to create alliances with such mysterious strangers?
Aw, don't be such a worrywart, Kamek. It worked in the end, didn't it? And now...I'm more than ready to teach that troublesome plumber a lesson!
*groan*
Hope that answers your question, blue boy!
Ha! If you're as weak as you are ugly, then it's no wonder you hit like a girl! No offense to females.
(Damn it Mech, hurry up! I won't be able to keep this up for too long!)
Don't coun't me out just yet! I'm just getting started!
....
...This will do just fine.
!
...
That didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.
But that's probably because I didn't want it to.
Crank-uh, I mean...DK Senior, is it? I'm gonna check this planet for anyone who can help us. Heaven knows we need it.
Hmm. Well, if you wish to organize a meeting with our CEO for the purpose of mass-production robotry, then I could personally suggest a meeting with him. Please hold.
(Hang in there, Rock. I'm trying to charge this as fast as possible.)
"Ha! If you're as weak as you are ugly, then it's no wonder you hit like a girl!" Like a girl, SQUA-
Shut up, bird! You belong to ME now!
...And what have we here?
Listen here and listen well, you son of a
. Met-L is heading over there right now to start the Apocalypse, and I don't want such a thing to ha-
...I don't want to catch the attention of those heroes. So, turn off the form RIGHT NOW or face my wra-
Apologies... But I believe I said before that I'd be taking orders from no one.
...What is this.
This... Is one of my new creations, the Jazz Droids. Apologies, they cannot speak for themselves... But it does allow for us to have a bit of heart-to-heart.
When on earth did you even get the time to make something like this, and for what?
When I said I'd be back, I meant it. I was inspired by Worship- and I suppose Quartet Enterprises, in a way- to create an army of clones to do my bidding.
Ok... But why are you using your old MKII model?
Look. I've been trapped within Surge's little makeshift dungeon for a while, and I was fighting Missingno. AND some obsolete garbage while everything was going on. Forgive me for having to resort to the Prototypes.
Anyways, allow me to cut to the chase.
Wh... Why, you...!
What the... What... did you...?
Poor, poor fool. You were starting to spend far too long without your Anti-Omni Powers. And that blow to your heart- Which is surprising that you even have one- merely knocked every last wind of it left in you. Now, why don't you just keel over and die?
...F..... Fuck....... you...........
WAD!
GUESS WHAT, PHONY? I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A FIRST-CLASS LESSON ON BUTT-WHOOPING!
WHAT YOU SEE HERE ISN'T SOME VIRUS, OR PLAGUE, OR SOME OTHER SECOND-RATE CORRUPTION METHOD! THIS!IS THE DREAD CANNON! WHAT POWERS UP THE DREAD CANNON, YOU ASK? WELL, YOU COULD CALL IT AN "OTHERWORLDLY" SOURCE OF POWER! THAT'S RIGHT, DIP
! DARK STAR ENERGY! AND LORD HADES GAVE ME PERMISSION TO BE THE FIRST TO EXPERIMENT ON IT TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD! NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT CAN'T BE OVERWHELMED WITH THE SAME "GOODY TWO SHOES NICENESS" ENERGY THOSE OTHER SUCKERS MIGHT BE USING!
DDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAD CANNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How adorable... Now it's MY turn.
CHAOS BREAKER.
...Now. Before I put your life at it's end, tell me... Have you ever heard the Tragedy of Your Universe? I thought not... It's not a story Hades would tell you. It's an MKII legend.
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