Right. Thank you.
...
...There he goes. Oh god.
Nope, no dice. Okay, I suppose we'll have to go about this the old-fashioned way.
(Oh wow, no matter what I do, that stupid fanfare follows me.)
It's over... we made it, we're here, and now it's time to get to somewhere I can call home for day or two, and best of all... no... whoever I was thinking of for a moment there...
Whatevs, let's get this over with.
Hey, how ya doin'?
OUBGEIUYRBFUROYCB! I SWEAR THE SPOT YOU'RE STANDING IN WAS UNOCCUPIED LIKE 17 SECONDS AGO!
Oh, that's just me displaying the most cliche superpower any chameleon can have. ...Which, I now realize, is pretty much the ONLY thing chameleons have going for them.
Anyway, I'm gonna have to condescendingly ask you to quit digging holes everywhere.
Not a chance. Tunneling through dirt, stone, and other stuff is how I get rid of excess anger, punk.
Well, among other things, your attempts to "de-stress" ended up tearing a HUGE chunk in my crib. For example, that one room that autoscrolls intruders to the right and crushes them with a wall if they don't exit fast enough? Ya tore a hole STRAIGHT through the damn thing, and the image of a skull made of lava blocks is now an image of LITERALLY NOTHING! Do you have ANY idea how hard my interior decorator had to work just to arrange those in the rightr way!?
Yeah, well Heavy Mole don't give a
about the effort your interior decorator put in! Heavy Mole digs where Heavy Mole wants to dig, and if it means I gotta dig through that crude picture of a skull that ya can't even SEE unless you were viewing it from the side, TEHN HEAVY MOLE'S DIGGIN' THERE, TOO!
Okay, that's it,
hole! You're goin' six feet under, and not because ya dig holes for a living, either!
Well, that's convenient.
Look at the stoic, bold, Pepsiman. A supposedly strong warrior being reduced to a mere punching bag.
Do you regret opposing me now? If you had rose to my side, we would have been unstoppable! And we would have crushed the Mortal Realm's heroes!
....I HAVE GIVEN UP SUCH SELFISH THOUGHTS. I AM NOT THE PEPSIMAN YOU ONCE KNEW, MCDONALD.... YOU... ON THE OTHER HAND... HAVE REGRESSED.
YOU ARE MORE CORPORATE THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN YOU BE. ALL YOU CARE OF IS POWER.
SO MUCH SO... THAT I AM NOT THE FIRST SODA MASCOT YOU HAVE GONE TO, AM I? I CAN SENSE THAT POWER WITHIN YOU...
...
...
Hmm. You will be dead soon after this, but indeed, you are not the first I've visited. No... that honor goes to Cool Spot.
Hahahahahah! That red stain was inconceivably weak! That fool had no chance!
!? (IMPOSSIBLE... COOL SPOT HAS A FAR MORE DEDICATED PROMOTIONAL HISTORY THAN EVEN I.)
You've been hit by- (BOOM BOOM) You've been struck by- (BOOM)...
(THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL... AND HE MAY STILL BE HOLDING BACK EVEN FURTHER... I WILL HAVE TO MY TRUE POWER...)
But unlike him, for personally slandering my presence... I will take my time to make your demise as painful as possible.
You are in for a world of hurt.
SO YOU SAY.
It's all over, lawbreaker!
!!?
...?!?
WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY OF YOURS, RONALD!?
Yet again, gravely mistaken. I have not come for any reason but one: To receive the potential power I know is here.
How does you, who has created this world, not know of this occurrence?
...IF NOT ANOTHER OF YOUR PITIFUL ALLIES... SOMETHING ELSE IS TEARING THEIR WAY INTO THIS WORLD.
Hmph. I merely used my spacial powers to translocate myself into this area. I did no such thing as affect the fabric of space.
...THEN...
!?
(THIS POWER... I HAVE NOT FACED SOMETHING SO DANGEROUS COMPARED TO THIS THAN... EVER. I MUST STOP IT AT ALL COSTS..)
(Whoever's intruding into this domain... they have far more latent potential than Pepsiman. If I get my hands on them... I will be more than powerful enough to accomplish my goals.)
*sigh* Well, now that that battle was over, I guess I should just get back to my job.
Oh for the love of Omni-King! What's going on now!?
What in the world is that!? Better tell the people about this!
Okay, this...could be bad.
ah cripes-
Fufufufufu! Finally, Vaati's Funfest 2: Electric Boogaloo! It's been FAR too long since I've inhabited a body outside that dumb Shadow Realm!
Eh? Which voice in my head are you?
All those declarations, those promises of justice... you have fibbed!
....I mean... duh..? It should be obvious by now that I wasn't really interested in a common interest, but instead just being able to do my own thing again. And you took the bait. Dumbass.
Look. I ain't gonna hold. You're kinda delusional. You think killing the world off and stripping it from control makes it more safe, but that only comes with the ability to do even more harm. Though I bet you realize that now.
This whole time... I have been fighting for--
A lie, yes.
No...
Woah there~! A little... straightforward... aren't we? ;)
LEAVE MY BODY AT ONCE!
Ahp, technically it's our body, now. Oh! Just like Walter! You can be the goofy dummy, and I'll be the powerful, yet crazed maniac!
Hey, hey hey! Suppose even if you get rid of me, do you think Prototype, all his friends-- and ESPECIALLY Mr. President-- Are going to give you a chance to see the light of day?
Without me, you'll just be the exact same you look like right now. Just a weak bub. A loser scrub. Back to being Mr. All Ls and no Dubs.
AAAAAGH!
Cope, seethe, mald + ratio.
Hope? I have hope that we can beat the odds, and show this freak who's boss!
Cute, Naegi. But you're on DeviantArt. You shouldn't have hope.
Woah.
IMPOSSIBLE! IS HE THE CHOSEN?
It's that simple?
The payoff is probably that we all have to do it, too. Just one person won't be enough.
Though, it probably won't accept something like 'I hope I get to win an important fight for once, on my own, without any assistance.' Which is good, because I don't--
*Le hope*
Honestly, I'm not sure what you're complaining about. Between a time-themed circus act, a pride flag recolor, and a gnome, you've got it easy.
I hope you guys shut up.
*Le hope*
I HOPE I GET SOUL'S BLESSING!
You mean to shut your trap, or...?
Sorry, armor boy, but I think if you want pleasure from anyone besides yourself, you're going to need a couple more beauty tips.
Preferably from me. I am a most stupendous stud. All the ladies as well as individuals who do not identify as ladies dig me. Citations pending.
Ugh... I hope... I hope I get a life outside being morally grey forever.
HEY, MY RAGE!
...This battle has been ongoing for over 4 months, and is almost nearing to 5... In a more successful timeline, this battle would have consummated far sooner.
Now it will not matter if the heroes win or not... Because in all forseeable futures, the Mushroom Kingdom is doomed to fall. Be it now, or later... By Bowser's hand, or by that of another's.
...But what fate lies for Mario, Luigi, Stanley, Imajin, the Princess, and so many others after the fact... Even my visions leave their fates uncertain. In some, they perish alongside the kingdom. In others, they rebuild... There are even some futures where they die in this very bout.
...I could always ask that God of Knowledge; He seems so certain of a future filled with destruction. ...But that knowledge is based on a more linear timeline... And I for one know for a fact that NOTHING about this world is "linear".
...I will give him this, however: In my search throughout all possible futures, I was only able to see only ONE future where the... "protagonists", for lack of a better term, actually win...
...Quin?!
I'm sorry, but we need some explanation of your goals and definition of "VIP" if we're to trust anything going on at the moment.
...I'm still wondering that myself. But if I had to tell you what it looked like...you know those old 80s arcade games that-
Y'know what, never mind, I'll explain later!
You just left out everything between the "shadowy pit" and meeting Dangan Man. It doesn't take a genius like me to figure out something happened there, and it was the most important part of this whole story.
So tell us.
...I don't know. It opened up, I got close enough to it, and next thing I knew I was somewhere else. Someone else.
Okay, well tell me this: Was it anything like Xehanort's darkness?
...
Vanitas Darkside, did that pit darken you, or did it corrupt you?!
...did you just call me a Darkside?
Wh-that's what DS stands for, right?!
For the others, sure. But I never said I was a Darkside. If you're going to bother saying more than "DS" to me, say "Dark Shroud" like what it is.
...
...I think you just answered my question without realizing it.
Oi, bint. Didn't you read the sign? It said, "sod off", right? So take you stupid snakes, frogs, or whatever you have, or you'll have to first deal with my partner...
*sigh* Of course he vouldn't listen to reason other than his own...]{swift}
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